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Along with Star Wars Episodes 1 – 3 and Spiderman 3, ‘The Weeping’ I must now also consign to the list of ‘things I thought would be a lot cooler until I actually saw them’, controller-less gaming devices.

I’m talking of course about Microsoft Natal, the new 3d camera interface for the Xbox 360 that has the whole gaming world abuzz, or as I think it would have been better named – Microsoft Mime.

Don’t get me wrong, Microsoft have produced a technological marvel,

Walking against the Wind **Bonus! 5000 points**

with the 3d camera and the body motion sensing widgetry, but there are some fundamental flaws in the premise of this product.

Firstly I speak for the silent mass of all slightly pudgy unfit gamers when I say that leaping about in front of the screen simply does not become me. My own personal vision of immersive gaming and virtual reality has generally involved a lot of sitting around wrapped in screens while my ‘pretend body’ ran around doing insanely dangerous things that would land me in the ER if I tried them myself.

Just watching that kid in the video jumping around like Tony Hawk brought the schedule on my knee replacement surgery forward by two years.

Secondly?  Two words: Carpet burns.

I don’t want to dwell in this uncomfortable space for too long, but just think about the cost to your elbows next time you’re leopard crawling up the ridge behind the enemy base with your G36 slung across your back getting ready to pwn their mans. Let’s not even contemplate the potential damage that you could do to yourself if they start integrating this thing with ‘social networking’ activities.

Last but not least, please, just look at the picture and ask yourself this – if you think it’s bad enough that we’re raising a current generation of controller mashing zombie children – how about a future  generation of prancing, paste faced mimes?